The 5 love languages are a concept developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, in his 1995 book entitled the same way. We’ve already covered the subject of what they are, so if you first need to do some research on that aspect, make sure to read our blog post about them. So, now that you’re all caught up, it’s time to learn how to speak your partner’s love language.
Now, this is going to be slightly to significantly different from one individual to another. You might find a specific love language to be a bit silly, while others will find it completely natural. What’s more, if you and your partner aren’t on the same page at first, it could take a little extra effort from the both of you.
Still, if you ask us, a relationship in which both people can truly understand each other and grow together is one of the most fulfilling things in life. In fact, we’ve even gone as far as creating a fully fledged card game for couples, rules and everything, that helps you communicate better! That’s how much we believe in the importance of a thriving relationship.
So, let’s get into the specifics of how to speak your partner’s love language.
Find Out Which One It Is
Now that you’ve given our blog post about what the 5 languages are a read, we’ll assume that you have at least a “suspicion” about the way in which your partner prefers love to be shown. However, if you need a few pointers, why not just discuss it with them directly?
Honest communication in a relationship is the foundation of happiness, and if it’s shaky, so will be all that’s built on top. Simply sit down for half an hour with your loved one, have a real heart to heart, and proceed from there.
But I Want To Surprise Them!
Being at least a bit unpredictable in your relationship can help keep the spark alive, so it’s completely understandable if you want to make a small or grand gesture of love as a first step.
In this case, here are a few hints about what you should be on the lookout for:
Is your partner overjoyed when they receive a compliment, no matter what the compliment is about? Do they also tend to take things a little too personally, or get over insults harder than others? There’s a good chance their love language is words of affirmation. Go ahead and make a positive comment about something they value!
Does your loved one prefer showing you that they love you, instead of telling you? Do they try to handle the daily chores which you really don’t like, or go out of their way to relieve you of other tasks? That’s an indication they prefer acts of service as a love language. Go ahead and do the same for them!
Do you often receive a “small attention” from your partner? Your favorite chocolate bar or flower perhaps? Maybe they insist on taking you to your favorite restaurant bi-weekly? These are all signs that they enjoy receiving gifts, and this is a love language in itself. And no, before you ask, no need to buy them ridiculously expensive gifts. Just go for something you know they’ll like.
Even if their day is unusually busy, does your partner always try and spend their window of free time with you? Are they happy the most when it’s just the two of you, walking through the park, chatting over lunch, or perhaps playing a table-top game? Their preference might be quality time, so make sure to always have them in your schedule as much as possible.
Do you always receive a cheek kiss before leaving home? Does your partner “insist” on holding hands while out and about? Do the two of you frequently hug each other? In that case, the love language of your partner could be physical touch.
Wrapping It Up
That’s pretty much how to speak your partner’s love language. It isn’t a precise science, as their preferences are most likely a mix of the above, with one being more prevalent, but just follow the pointers and you’ll be fine!
And once again, we strongly suggest just having a deep conversation with them about it. You’ll both be happier for it in the long run!